I felt shocked when I realized I didn't really know who I was.
And honestly — maybe I never gave myself the space to find out.
I was always on the go. Numbing out with alcohol, distractions, staying busy enough that the question never had room to surface. And when it finally did, I didn't have an answer.
That was uncomfortable. But it was also the most important moment of my life.
Because it was the first time I stopped running long enough to actually ask.
If you're reading this, something in you is asking too.
Maybe you've been so deep in the doing — the work, the relationships, the showing up for everyone else — that you've lost the thread back to yourself.
Maybe you're at a crossroads. Something ended, something shifted, and now you're standing in a gap wondering who you actually are outside of all of it.
You don't need to have the answer yet. You just need to be willing to sit with the question.
Why we stop asking
It's easier not to.
Staying busy, staying needed, staying distracted — these aren't character flaws. They're how a lot of us learned to cope with not feeling like enough just as we are.
But at some point the noise stops working. The distraction stops sticking. And what's underneath starts asking to be seen.
That's not a breakdown. That's your inner voice getting louder because you're finally ready to hear it.
A journaling practice to start coming home
20 minutes. Somewhere quiet. Phone face down. No right answers.
1. Who was I before I learned to be useful?
What did you love before the roles stacked up? What made you feel alive before you started optimizing your life around everyone else's needs?
2. Which roles am I wearing that no longer fit?
Not the ones you want to shed entirely. Just the ones that feel tight. The version of you that made sense once but is ready for an update.
3. What have I been numbing that's worth feeling?
This one takes courage. What are the distractions actually covering? What would you find if you got quiet enough to look?
4. Who am I outside of what I do for others?
Sit with this one. "I don't know" is a completely valid answer. Write it down anyway. That's where it starts.
This isn't about fixing yourself
It's about stopping long enough to remember that there's a self worth coming back to.
I spent years not giving myself that space. The retreats I now lead exist because I finally did — and what I found on the other side changed everything.
You don't have to figure it all out today.
You just have to start asking.
Ready for more than a journaling practice? We'd love to have you with us in Mexico, Morocco, or Kenya.